Confession: I don't spend nearly enough time living in the present. Instead, I do a great job of remembering all the great things in my past or wondering and longing for my future. But, as for just living in the moment...I'm not so good at that.
I decided my One Word in 2012 would be intentional. What I didn't think about when I chose that word was that a synonym for this word could also be present. I need to live in my life at this moment. And, for me, that is hard.
I spend a fair amount of time thinking about all the great things that I loved about college and those moments. I think about my friends and how they're far away. I think about the could have, should have, would haves...and then I get sad. But that's just silly. Those were great moments and they helped shape my present. I have to remind me that there is nothing to be sad about because all those memories are awesome. But, they are in the past.
When I'm not thinking back to the past, I'm also pretty good at freaking myself out about the future. For better or worse, I was given the gift of wanting to put everything on a nice little list - and then check it all off as things happen. But, the future is unknown, and I don't need to waste time or energy wondering and worrying about every little thing. That doesn't mean it's bad to think or to plan; but I waste a lot of time wondering and wondering and getting myself all worked up about things that aren't worth the time or the energy. What is so intentional about that?
So, today, I'm re-pledging to be intentional; to live in the present and to enjoy this life. Because, when it comes down to it, I have an awesome life. I have a great husband, a great little dog, amazing friends, a family anyone would be lucky to know and a job that not only pays the bills, but challenges me every single day. It is when I get so bogged down in the past or so worried about the future that I shortchange my present.
And I'm coming to realize that the present is the only thing that is the only guarantee I have anyway. So, it's time to enjoy it and take a deep breath...and just live.