1.18.2004

Okay, so it's been like a month since I've written anything on here. Why you ask? I don't have the foggiest idea. It's been a fast month, what with Christmas (which was wonderful--you should see the necklace Tim got me!) and New Years (in Evansville with Tim and his family) and the beginning of the new year...I guess time has just gotten away from me.

Have you ever had one of those days (months, weeks, whatever) where you feel like you have a million things to say, but don't know how to make the words appear on paper? That is where I'm at right now. I know a lot of things have happened and I want to write about them all, but it somehow seems almost too personal to post here, which just doesn't make any sense at all, now does it?

I could just write about fluff, right about something just so that there is something on here so I don't look like such a slacker...but what is the point in writing something just to write? I've never been that way, which is probably why my novel will never get written! :)

So here we go: here is my attempt to write something meaningful and deep at 9:40 a.m. on a Sunday.

The world is a crazy, funny thing. It seems like I spend so much time trying to just keep up with the minutes of my life as they tick by. Have you ever really stopped to think and wonder--what do I have to show for my life? What do I have to show for myself in the midst of everything else that is going on? Have I really made a difference to anyone? Have I really made an impact in anyone's life? These are the questions that haunt me as I write. My deepest desire in life is to make my love for others and my passion for my God known--but I feel that I fail so many times. Has anyone really come to know my Christ better because of me? Has anyone been really touched by who I am? Has my life really made a difference?

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