My church is reading through the entire Old Testament between August 17th and December 31st. It seems like a huge goal, but I am plugging along at a reasonable pace...there is the option to purchase the OT on CD or casette and listen to it, but that is both expensive and I don't know that I would pay as much attention as I should listening in my car. So, I am reading. As of right now I'm mostly through Genesis. I had a friend in college who called my attention to the very beginning..."Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters."
So many times in my life I have found myself in a place where I feel formless and empty; where life makes little or no sense and there is an opressive darkness over the deep dreams and desires of my life (the number one desire being to see Him, to follow Him, and to experience everything He has given me in this life). And then I am reminded, through song, through friends, through this verse, that even in that moment of darkness before creation exploded all around, God was there, hovering over the waters, promising that He is about to do something amazing. And so I like to think, in my moments of darkness, God is hovering there, about to do something amazing. And He has never failed me.
Right now, I am in a creation moment. For awhile there had been this darkness, and then life exploded around me. I see beauty and passion in my friends; I feel love and joy at the simple things; I watched the sun rise over the ocean and felt God painting a masterpiece just for me to see. I stood at the edge of the Atlantic, the waves washing over my feet, and wondered aloud how people could not see God and how the world could so easily believe everything was left up to chance. I heard a baby's laughter and saw the innocent love of a three year old who just became a big sister. A friend got out of a job she hated and already found something else. I have the honor of holding the hand of a man who has quickly come to mean something special to me. I sat on a boat, talked about books, and realized that life is made up of moment after moment of grace. And today I feel amazingly lucky and blessed!
"When I come to the edge of all the light I know and am about to step out into the darkness, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen; there will be something firm to stand on, or I will be taught how to fly."