Freedom

If you are my friend on Facebook or follow me on twitter, you have seen me post for the last few weeks about the results of my weight watchers meetings.  It's not because I'm bragging, but I am proud of myself.  It's not because I've reached my goal, because I am so far from that.  Really, it's because I need the accountability, and telling lots of people helps with that.  Also, it keeps me focused and humble.

Since signing up for Weight Watchers, I have lost 8.2 pounds.  I am just a few pounds away from my first goal.  Exciting!

This is not the first time I have done weight watchers, and it is not the first time I have been successful doing it.  But, it is the first time I have felt this freedom as I've lost the weight.  One part of that freedom was telling Tim my "dirty little secret" about my weight.  The other part comes from realizing that I am not in this alone, and that people love me as I am, but are excited to see me feel better and look better.  What I've realized about losing weight in the last month is that it's not hard, but it is complicated.  Losing weight involves realizing that food doesn't give me comfort long term and that I am capable of change.  I think to really lose the weight, I had to realize that I was okay just as I was, but could be so much more.  And, I had to want to lose the weight for me, not to make Tim proud of me (even though I love that he is) or to feel like being skinnier would make me worthier of something (because I know it won't).  It hasn't been necessarily easy, but it hasn't been that hard, either.  I'm learning what foods are filling, and what I can do to make the points last as long as I need them to.

I've posted a new sidepiece on my blog. It shows how much weight I've lost, my small goals, and my big goal.  I want you to be a part of this journey with me.  Mary, my weight watchers leader, has been a huge source of support and affirmation these last few weeks.  It's so nice to know she's on my side, as are my family and friends.  So please feel free to ask me about it if you want.  I will be honest with my successes and with my struggles.  I've been on this ride for awhile; but, with your help and the help of a little discipline, I'm hoping this is the last time I'm on this part of the track!