I know everything happens for a reason and I know that when things don't go as I'd planned, there is a lesson hiding in there somewhere. What I don't know is why the lessons have to come in the shape of hard things and disappointment so often.
Without going into a lot of detail, right now I feel like the door to one of my loves and passions was slammed shut last week. I don't get a lot of chances to do theatre anymore - scheduling conflicts usually are the culprit - or the fact that i can't carry a tune in a bucket - but there was always one venue I thought I could make a difference in and make an impact in - and then last week was told that someone else will be doing it - that someone else had all these goals and plans - things i'd been trying to get someone to take me seriously about for years without success. And, even though it wasn't personal, it felt like I was deflated a little. And it made me really, really sad for about 24 hours.
So now i'm trying to focus on the lesson - was I being too prideful, too arrogant, too concerned with the "me" in the equation? Is there something else coming down the road? Did I miss a sign?
It is not the end of the world and I firmly believe that something else will come up if it's supposed to, but it sure took the wind out of my sails for a couple days...
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