I think I keep learning the same lessons over and over again. Although, apparently, I'm not really learning them - because I keep having to go through the work again and again. Maybe it's the imperfect part of me; maybe it's the part of me that likes to be difficult and a little contrary; maybe it's the part of me that knows I'm a work in progress...who knows. But, the older I get, the more the lessons feel exactly the same.
I keep being taught to be content. I know I've talked a lot on this blog about two of my biggest passions - writing and theatre. If you''ve read my blog much at all, you probably also know that I don't get to do as much of either as I would like. And, I don't get to do it in venues I like much, either. So, it's really hard for me. I don't feel like I've been given an abundance of talents, but I do feel both theatre and writing are gifts of mine - gifts that I let lay dormant too often. Then, in a new study I am in on Thursday mornings, we were talking about what defines us and how what should definte us is our identity in Christ, not the things that we love to do. I am still Emily even if I don't write and don't act and don't direct. I am still worth the same, regardless of whether I do those things or not. I should just learn to be content in that.
I keep being taught to be patient. Everything happens for a reason and in the time it's supposed to happen. All my worrying and anxious thoughts cannot hurry anything toward a conclusion. I cannot change things simply because I am worried about them. I cannot change things because I am excited about them. I cannot change things because I am not getting the answers I think I want and I need right this very moment. I am learning to enjoy the time I have and to take it for what it is. There is no need for impatience - because everything happens in due time. Instead of being impatient, I need to relax and take a deep breath and see what is right in front of me.
I keep being taught to be open. Life is a series of new experiences and new things. I like my little life and the way things go. I like knowing what is going to happen every day, for the most part. I don't really like the unexpected. And, lately, I've had a lot of unexpected stuff come up. I'm learning to accept the new things that happen and to just let the troubling things roll away. Because, I'm remembering more and more, that nothing in thiss world is forever. Being open to new things, means that I get to experience the good and the bad in life - and appreciate them both!
What are you learning in 2010?