Growing, Changing, Mourning

As lives change
and people grow
there is a mourning
of time gone by

When simple laughter
and late night talks
created all the life
we thought we needed

Now things have changed
people have moved on
lives are scattered
friendships are different

Some closeness disappears
some friendships fade
all that is left
is our new reality

I realized recently that my life is a lot different now than it used to be. For some reason, I knew that, but I hadn't really processed it. And, don't get me wrong, it is a wonderful life, and I wouldn't change it for anything, but it's just different. I love being a wife and I love keeping a home. I love having a job and I love being just who I am, but I miss some of the old stuff.

I miss college friends that I could stay up with all night. I miss hanging out until 4:00am on a porch swing. I miss mountain dew runs and avoiding ridiculous English professors. I miss silly notes left on desks and cars moved because of babies being born. I miss watching four movies in a week because it's a bad week. I miss traveling drama teams and campus ministers. I miss knowing that the best friends in the world i've had were just next door, just down the hall, and just across the street.

I miss being able to comfort a hurting friend with just my presence, not hugs (she doesn't really like that). I hate being away from her when all I want to do is take her hurt away.

And, as my ten year high school reunion approaches, I miss those friendships. In some ways I even envy the people that have managed to stay close throughout the last ten years. I have stayed close to one friend, maybe two, but other than that, it's wonderful to see them, but I really don't KNOW them anymore.

Maybe i'm feeling a little introspective today.