Five Minute Friday: Race
Five minute Friday is a regular feature on Lisa-Jo Baker's Blog. Take five minutes, write about the topic of the week, and support the five minute Friday community.
Today's topic: Race
The race is not to the swiftest, not to the strongest, not to the most likely to succeed. The race goes to the one who, even when they're tired, downhearted and hurting, chooses not to give up.
Lately I feel like I'm stuck on a treadmill going full speed ahead. I'm racing from one print project to one web update...from one meeting to another...from one event to my homework to my bed, where of course I do not sleep. I feel like I can't go fast enough to gain traction, that no matter how hard I try, I'm falling behind and being crushed in on all sides. I feel like this race is a race that has no winners - only tired, exhausted, scattered remains of personality.
I know it's just this season, just this thing. I know that this pace cannot and will not last forever. I know that there will be time to breathe, to enjoy, to relax. I know there will be days to sit and read and watch the leaves fall from the trees before they are all gone. I know that the race of life has ebbs and flows, but right now, all I can see is the flow - the constant demand for more, for bigger, for better.
I'm tired of this race. I'm tired of running so hard and feeling like I'm getting nowhere. I'm tired of being tired. I've done well; I've been focused and have checked a lot of things off the ever-changing list. But then today, I feel like I just hit the wall. I don't want to run anymore. I don't even want to be in the race.
I want to be a spectator for a season. I want to cheer and encourage those that are running that they can do it; that they can make it through the uphill that never seems to end. I want to be happy and positive and full of all the good things that I know are in me. I'm a great cheerleader; probably a better cheerleader than racer. But somehow I've ended up in the race, struggling toward the finish line. I see it coming. It's really not that far off now. Just a few more laps and I can make it. I will make it. I believe I can make it.