Have you ever seen the movie Labyrinth? It was one of my favorites when I was growing up, and I still remember it almost word-for-word. My friend Julie and I used to watch it every time she came to my house growing up. There was a point in time when I had the whole movie memorized, but that "knowledge" has been replaced by other thoughts and endeavors as I've grown up and matured. However, there is one part of the movie that I can still almost recite by heart.
As Sarah finally confronts Jareth about saving her little brother, she says, "Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great...you have no power over me."
Her realization that the darkness had no power over her changes her life, frees her and her brother, and teaches her what real love in the real world looks like.
Lately, I've been struggling with a different kind of power over me. For the last few weeks, I've been anxious, nervous, and a little stressed. I've worried irrationally about a large number of things that really aren't worth worrying about. I've completely freaked out because my dog had an upset stomach and wasn't her usual self. I've been stressed about things that I have no control over and taking miscommunications at work personally instead of letting them slide off my back.
In short, I've been letting the wrong thing have power over me. So, last week, especially, I decided to focus those fears and worries into prayers and conversations. As I took my stressors to God and to those that love me the most, the things that once seemed so overwhelming were decidedly less important. My fears were unfounded, my freakouts totally unneccessary.
More than once last week, I found myself thankful for my husband, who takes my craziness in stride, lets me talk through what's freaking me out, and then just gives me a hug and tells me he loves me. I'm thankful for my mom, who didn't laugh (at least not to me) when I texted her asking if I should take Madi to the vet because her stomach was making "noises."
What I learned last week was that I still have the ability to control what really has power over me; an anxious, stressful, worrisome mind or a calm, loving, graceful spirit. I'm learning that my natural tendency is to be a worrier and a fixer and to take on burdens that I have no real reason or right to carry. My challenge is to be a person who let's go of all the junk that could hold me down and lives in the freedom that those things will only have power over me if I let them.
While this isn't a big revelation to anyone (even me), it has been so freeing to let go of some of those things and to continue to let them go when I try and hold on to them more and more. I'm in a better place this week, mentally and emotionally. So thankful, so loved and so happy to just be me, foibles and craziness and all.