...how friendships can change so much in so little time.
I ran into a friend of mine from college yesterday at a convention in Louisville. I knew she would be there. I was counting on running into her, and it happened. What I didn't expect to happen was for it to be so...awkward...to see her. I know I've changed a lot and she's probably changed some and we don't talk like we used to, but it was still strange. I thought it may be a little strange to see her for such a brief time in that environment, but she walked away and I felt...awkward. Like something was left unsaid or missing or just off. It was so strange to experience. Less than an hour after that I ran into another friend from college, and it was totally fine. It was normal, just like it always was when we hung out. I know the friendships were different. One always felt like I had to be on my toes, one was completely comfortable and safe.
I've known for awhile that this friend and I were drifting apart. Before yesterday, the last time I spoke with her was shortly after Tim and I got engaged back in November. I guess it's just like that sometimes. What it did make me realize, however, is how much more I appreciate the friendships I have that have stood the test of time since college. The people that, whether I talk to them every day, week, or month, they are still my friends and I can't imagine my life without them. There is something beautiful about friendships, unique as they are, that don't take work, they just are. Simple, complex, beautiful, and sacred all wrapped up into the people that I love the most, that I cherish in my life.
That is how I chose my bridesmaids. Each one has made a direct impact on me as a person. Liz, Rene, and Jenny have all helped shape me into the person that I am today. Without their impact in my life, I would not be where I am or who I am. That's why I am honored to have them stand beside me and witness the most important moment of my life.
On the other side, I guess even when you know things have changed and things will change, even when there are people in your life that sometimes drive you absolutely insane, there is still something sad about the finality of knowing whatever friendship you had is quickly fading away into oblivion, having served whatever purpose for which it was intended.