11.11.2005

Restless

I'm finding myself increasingly restless. I honestly wonder if it is in some way a direct reaction to my Captivating study on Monday night. We talked about the differences between being at rest and striving. I want so much to be at rest--to be calm, safe, and secure in His grasp, knowing that he is in control. Instead I find myself striving--striving to be more, find more, believe more. And it is making me restless. Little things spark my ire and frustration. I'm feeling selfish and somewhat hopeless at the same time. I want to know that peace and calm that comes from simply knowing that God is God and in control. I can't seem to find it, though. At least not this week. It has been one of those weeks. You know the ones I'm talking about, I'm sure. We've all had them. Weeks where it hasn't been bad, per se, but it's been....blah. One of those weeks that, if you allowed it to, could really kick your butt. But, I don't want to complain, I don't want to vent, I don't want my blog to become a place where it whine about all the little things going on in my life. Instead, I'm going to once again follow Meagan's suggestion and write about a 'happiness' that has happened in my life, at least on a semi-regular basis. I think as a person and as a Christian, it's important to remember and celebrate the good, no matter how big or small it may be. The bad and the hurtful, the frustrating and the questioning--all those things are easy to remember, to dwell on, and to let yourself get sucked into. The happy, the joy, the good...it easily gets swept aside. And that is just the opposite of the way it really should be. We should celebrate the things that deserve celebrating and give the hard stuff, the painful stuff, the 'icky' stuff up to God and allow him to work through us and for us.

So, it is Friday and here is something small and happy.

I am directing a drama for church on the 20th. We had our first rehearsal last night. It went well, the cast is hilarious and works well together. For a few moments, I felt completely back in my element and like I was using one small gift I've been given for Him. I don't get that opportunity enough, so it is nice when it happens. Two friends were there and we got to talk about musical theater and our love for all things stage-related. It was good. It was happy.

2 comments:

  1. :-) Your happy thing has way more depth than my happy thing :-) I will try to be inspired by YOU and make my next happy thing something with a bit more substance!

    Is it an original drama you're doing?

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  2. emily4:25 PM

    they won't all be this substantial, I promise :)

    No, it's something from Willow Creek. It's good, though. 4 people and their misconceptions about giving/not giving. only about 3 minutes, so that's good. i have written several, though :) We've done a couple and my old ministry did several. i miss the stage. a lot.

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