5.16.2005

Hundreds of Questions

Have you ever felt like maybe you knew something, deep down inside, that you didn't want to put words to? Have you ever felt like naming something, voicing something, speaking something...that it would make it real? Have you ever wondered exactly what an infant thinks and sees when they look into your eyes? Have you ever wanted nothing more than to cry out "I'm scared" but knew that it wouldn't matter in the long run? Has your journal ever turned into something with a life of it's own? Have you ever wondered if you can wonder too much about somethings? Have you ever felt invisible? Have you ever felt insignificant? Have you ever felt taken advantage of?

Have you ever felt?

What are the deepest fears in your heart? Have you ever told anyone your darkest secret? Do you ever silently wish for something and know at the same time it's not what you really want? Do you ever trust too much? Do you ever not trust enough? Do you ever really learn to live? Do you ever really learn to let go?

What would you do if it was all gone tomorrow? What would you change if you could? Would you change at all? Would you grieve? Would you laugh? Would you risk? Would you care? Who would miss you if you were gone? Who would you leave behind?

Who knows your secrets? Who knows your fears? Who knows your hopes and your dreams and your laughs and your tears? Who knows you? Would you still love if it meant it might hurt? How long will you wait before you let yourself believe again? Did you know there was pain in the world? Did you know there was evil and there would be hurt? Did you know your tears would fall like rain? Would you do it again if you had to? Would you do it again if you didn't have to?

What does it take to move forward? What keeps you standing behind? What is it that you're hiding? That you're not showing? That you're not feeling?

Who would you share your secret with?

2 comments:

  1. Nice blog. I went to Bloomington for the first time last month and loved it! Even thought I went to college in IN, I'd never been.... I was missing out!

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  2. Maaaaannnn, Emily! I actually had to print this entry of yours out and re-read it over and over again and ponder every question.

    Thanks a lot for making me think so much! (I'm not sure if I'm saying that sarcastically or not :-)

    love meagan

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