Well, another Birthday has come and gone. I'm now a year older...wow, hard to believe. Yesterday was a good day. I laughed a lot and felt a lot of love. It made me, if only for a day, feel even that much closer to God. That is what he desires for all of us; to feel that love and appreciation and peace and joy. And, it's funny, because it also seems like those are the days in which Satan works the hardest to make us feel that loss and separation we have from God. It happens in the quiet moments on my birthday. In between the cards and the laughter and the genuine love, I feel the pang of lost wonder and my heart hears the silent, yet decidedly deadly thought that nothing is going to work out like I imagine and I'm going to be unhappy.
Thankfully, I have a good God that is a BA-Zillion times bigger than those thoughts, and He quickly scoots them aside and replaces them with more laughter and joy!!
Yesterday was a great day. I spent time with people I love dearly that love me dearly. I went to a movie, opened wonderful presents, and had great food. I came close to falling asleep in the arms of my love, and I can't honestly remember the last time I felt so much love from one group of people.
On my way to work this morning I was listening to "The Bridge" by Billy Joel. It's a great CD, one of my favorites from him, and contains one of my favorite songs, "This is the Time." Here's part of the chorus:
This is the time to remember
'Cause it will not last forever
These are the days to hold on to
'Cause we won't, although we'll want to
It just speaks volumes to my heart. This is the time to remember--because soon this phase of life and this moment of my existence will be nothing more than a memory to look back upon with longing and fondness. Young and full of possibility, there is nothing holding me back right now at this moment in my life.
I get caught up in looking toward the future so often that I forget to enjoy the present. I let the questions--the when, where, how, why, who--of my future get the best of me and find myself not truly appreciating my life now and what is going on and just how lucky and how blessed I am. I need to focus more on this moment and stop worrying so much about this afternoon, this weekend, next month, and next year.