1.12.2010

Something You Should Know

There is something you probably should know about me.

It's not terribly easy for me to make friends with people.  I'm more shy and backward and afraid of what people think of me than I would like to admit.  I have been burned by friends and friendships in the past, and, as a result, am more cautious now.  (I'm sure I've also had something to do with the downfall of a couple of those friendships and I hate that - but like to think I'm a better person now and have learned from those experiences).

That being said, when I do make a friend now, when I do really get to know and trust someone, I take that bond pretty seriously.  No matter how often we get to hang out or talk, my girlfriends are the people I go to when I need something only they can provide.  And, I trust them with my heart and my life.  And they are precious, beautiful women whom I admire and love.  And when they are hurt, I get mad.  Not just a little mad, but like Mrs. Potatohead from Toy Story 2 mad.  I put on my angry eyes.  I know it's probably not the best response, but it's my first reaction.  For me, it's one thing to be hurt myself, but a whole different thing to see the people I love hurting.  I hate it.  And I hate it more when I can't do anything about it but pray.  Not that prayer is not 'enough' but just that it's hard to feel passive.

I have a friend that I love, that I cherish, and she's been going through a rough patch for, oh, a couple years now.  And just when it seems like things are getting a little better and she's able to heal a bit, something else happens.  And it makes me angry for her because she doesn't deserve it.  No one does, but her especially.  I pray for her daily, but right now, I just want to shake some sense into the people hurting her. 

It reminds me of that quote from Ghandi that makes us all, as Christians, hurt - I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians.  They are so unlike your Christ.

So now you know.  My friends are just a little important to me.

1 comment:

  1. Your friends are blessed to have you. You AND your angry eyes.

    And that Ghandi quote? Sadly so true.

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