Hi. My name is Emily and I'm a scaredy cat. Or, more precisely, I am NOT a risk taker. At all. Risks scare me, make me nervous and make my tummy hurt.
I also like to have things planned out about 1,700 steps in advance. Which makes living life somewhat difficult sometimes. I am trying so hard to be better about living in the moment. I know that is all I can really be sure about anyway, but it's still so hard to do!
I know I've talked about the magnet my mom has on her fridge before - "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" The list of things I would do if I knew I couldn't fail is pretty long - I'd write that book, audition for that dream role, try harder to be a public speaker, open my pajama store, go back to school - the list goes on and on.
The truth is, though, that my fear of failure means that I struggle - making the time to write is hard when only a small part of me believes I could be successful - body-image issues make me believe I could never have that dream part - I don't feel like what I have to say is all that important - I don't even know how to open a store - and school is too expensive, blah, blah, blah.
None of my reasons are valid, but they are the justifications I find myself saying over and over again why I don't take the risk, don't do the things I love, don't want to stick my neck out there and just try.
Why am I wired like that? I don't know. Why do I let the fear of failure keep me from even attempting to spread my wings? I can't say. It is something I just don't like about myself. It's something that I struggle with regularly.
I want to be able to risk more. Heck, I want to be able to risk everything. But, in the end, I'm just a scaredy cat who needs more courage.
Emily, this whole post is me - You're not alone, my friend! Praying for you.ReplyDelete
I also have the same struggle, though not in the same area of life.ReplyDelete
To me change and risk are inevitable. I always remind myself that life is much precious than that. There is this little voice in my head that says 'If you are scared, then do it afraid' or 'what's the worst thing that's gonna happen? It won't kill you right?'
But that's just me.
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