Perspective

I've been reading, thinking, hearing about a lot of big things lately. There was a funeral at my church today for a nine year old whose life was tragically cut short. That's huge. For those of you that follow Stellan's story, he's back in the hospital and still very sick. People I know are fighting cancer, going through relationship issues and dealing with the impossible every day.

I know people who have lost their jobs, lost their spouses, lost their place in the world. I have spent hours reading the stories of parents who can do nothing but sit by as their child fights for their very life. I know people who don't know why their child is sick and what he is fighting. People are being killed in N. Korea simply for being Christians. These are really big things.

In light of all that, my momentary issues - getting used to Madison, not feeling the best, missing my family, feeling just out of sorts, seem so insignificant. I worry about the health of my family. I worry that every different little thing with Madison means something is really wrong with her. I am tired of feeling sick. All those things are big to me, but pretty small in lieu of the rest of the world.

Sometimes it's all about perspective.
My life is small. My troubles are momentary. My life is blessed.

There is a lot of pain in the world. A lot of uncertainty, hurt and sadness. There is a lot of wonder and disillusionment. But it's all about perspective, right?

In the scheme of things - it's just a blink in the eye of a Creator who knows more and sees more and understands the significance behind our limited perspective.

Randomness

I haven't been thinking in long, complicated thoughts lately. so, it shouldn't surprise anyone that my blog isn't full of them either. But, just to catch you up, here are some random thoughts from my head.

I've been battling some stomach/something SOMETHING for about 6-7 weeks now. I'm so tired of feeling like poo every time I eat or drink something. I know part of it is stress from the dog and getting adjusted to our new life, but not all of it. Bloodwork and ultrasound have turned up nothing, so now it's off to do another test. Good times. I sure wish my body would stop hating me, though. That's all.

We took madison to the vet this morning because she also has had some upset tummy issues. Vet said she was fine. And, at 11 weeks, she weighs 3.2 lbs. She is going to be a HUGE chihuahua. I asked the vet if she thought she would be 7-8 lbs, and she said that would probably be right. WOW. I know that's still really small, but it's a couple pounds bigger than the breed standard. Apparently all my concerns about her food intake are not important.

My husband continues to amaze me daily with his love for me, for madison, and for life in general. He is an amazing, caring and compassionate man and I cannot believe I get to call him my love for the rest of my life. He has been a rock of reassurance and happiness in the puppy transition. I know this is a whole new world for him, and seeing how attached he is to Madison makes my heart smile.

Life is slowly becoming less consumed with the dog and more normal. granted, it will be a good six months to a year before we feel comfortable letting her out of her pen all the time, etc, but she's already maturing a lot.

I don't think about her ALL day EVERY day, so I think that's healthy.

I miss my family a lot these days. Miss my mom, my brothers, my sister, my stepdad, my stepmom, the extended family...not sure why, just a phase, I guess.

What about you, what's going on in your world?

Almost a Month Already!

Well, it's been almost a month since we brought little Madison home to live with Tim and I. And, what a month it's been.

Here are some things I've learned since becoming a puppy mama.

Puppies are hard work.
Puppies are harder work than anyone will ever tell you.

Puppies are resilient.
Puppies aren't emotional like people.

Puppies live in the moment.
Puppies are smart and want to be loved.

Puppies change your whole life.

Having Madison here has been a great adventure. I have been stressed and concerned in ways that I did not expect. When I was talking to my mom the other day and she said she warned me that a puppy would change my life. To which I responded - yeah, but you didn't tell me HOW. I was only imagining the good things - the companionship, someone to cuddle, someone to love - not the stressing about what she's eating and when she last used the bathroom and what she does while we're gone...

...looking back, we kind of just decided to get a dog. I wanted a dog, but didn't know what that meant! I love her, but it really has changed everything!

And They Called it Puppy Love

2 weeks ago (almost) someone new entered our life. Her name is Madison. She is tiny, adorable, and a big handful!

Having a puppy has been fun. She plays hard and sleeps a lot, which is good. I haven't had a dog in a long time and haven't actually ever gone through the first stages of dog ownership - sleepless nights, potty training and the worry about her!

I wasn't prepared for the sleepless nights - for how pathetic her cry can sound and how much she dislikes being in her pen at night - at least at first. I wasn't prepared to not talk to her, not rush to her when she cried, and to teach her that it's not okay to get up and play at 1:00am every day. Whether it's her getting a lot better at it, or our exhaustion finally catching up, she has quickly graduated to sleeping about 6 hours straight through the night (as of today). This is a good thing. Although I do find myself wondering if she's okay when she hasn't made a peep for that long.

Housebreaking a dog that is only 2 pounds is not going well. She has to pee ALL the time, and most of the time she's already peeing before we even realize what she's doing. Hopefully some strong dilligence over the next couple weeks will help us make great strides toward having her housebroken. And, because you're asking, we didn't and aren't using a crate. Trust me I've read all the benefits, and I think they're very legitimate - but with Tim and I working all day through the week, it's just not conceivable for one of us to come home every two hours to let her out to do her business.

That being said, we did buy her an exercise pen - some place to keep her safe and confined while we're gone during the day. It has food, water, puppy pads, toys and a bed. All the comforts of home. Here's the other thing - she has already figured out how to move & climb out of it. Talk about stressing her 'momma' out!

I have also realized i have a somewhat unhealthy attachment to the little ball of fluff. I am constatly thinking about her, worrying about her, and hoping she's okay. When we're home, I spend a lot of time sitting on the floor with her, watching her every move and trying to convince her not to bite my toes and fingers. When we're gone, my stomach is in knots worrying that she's okay, that she's eating, sleeping, and hasn't been crying the whole time I'm gone. Stress!

Do other dog owners get this stressed or am I just taking it TOO much to heart?!?! I don't know, but I know I've got to stop obsessing so much about her and just continue to live my life and do my thing while she's growing. She'll make it through puppyhood. I'll make it through this. Tim will make it through. And, we'll have a normal life again!

I love her, but man, no one told me it was going to be this stressful and this much work!