Breathing Peace

The last two evenings have been so wonderful - spending time with friends and relaxing.

Tuesday night, Tim and I had dinner and hung out with two of our absolute favorite people in the entire world. It's funny how friendships that mean so much can form so quickly sometimes. Jason went from being a potential boss, to a co-worker, to a mentor, to a friend, to almost family. Amy went from being Jason's wife, to a casual friend, to a close friend, to someone I look up to like the big sister I never had. Together, they have taught me so much about what it means to be honest, to love, and to grow together. Their marriage has shown me what a Christian marriage is supposed to look like (meaning, it's not always perfect and roses, but it's always there always present always loving and kind).

Just spending time with them is refreshing to my heart. They remind me that, yes, lives change and friendships change, but that isn't always a bad thing. Their friendship reminds me that I'm in a different place than I was a few years ago, but this is a good place, too. That friendship, real friendship, does still exist, even outside the comfort of 8th Street.

Nothing we do is complicated - it usually involves food, playing with their son, watching TV/movies, or playing games - but it's always such a joy for me.

***

And then last night I spent with Liz. I know I have said this before on this blog, but one of the best things about my life is my friendship with Liz. Together, we don't have to DO anything, we just spend time together, generally in silence, doing nothing. Just breathing in and reconnecting with a friendship that came straight from God through a slightly crazy path. We were thinking about that last night - how our friendship came to be and how strong it is today. Last night consisted of dinner, target, a rainstorm, some TV, and some quiet..and it was JUSt what I needed. I wish we lived closer and hung out more, but the times we do spend together are just so perfect and great and refreshing...

Growing, Changing, Mourning

As lives change
and people grow
there is a mourning
of time gone by

When simple laughter
and late night talks
created all the life
we thought we needed

Now things have changed
people have moved on
lives are scattered
friendships are different

Some closeness disappears
some friendships fade
all that is left
is our new reality

I realized recently that my life is a lot different now than it used to be. For some reason, I knew that, but I hadn't really processed it. And, don't get me wrong, it is a wonderful life, and I wouldn't change it for anything, but it's just different. I love being a wife and I love keeping a home. I love having a job and I love being just who I am, but I miss some of the old stuff.

I miss college friends that I could stay up with all night. I miss hanging out until 4:00am on a porch swing. I miss mountain dew runs and avoiding ridiculous English professors. I miss silly notes left on desks and cars moved because of babies being born. I miss watching four movies in a week because it's a bad week. I miss traveling drama teams and campus ministers. I miss knowing that the best friends in the world i've had were just next door, just down the hall, and just across the street.

I miss being able to comfort a hurting friend with just my presence, not hugs (she doesn't really like that). I hate being away from her when all I want to do is take her hurt away.

And, as my ten year high school reunion approaches, I miss those friendships. In some ways I even envy the people that have managed to stay close throughout the last ten years. I have stayed close to one friend, maybe two, but other than that, it's wonderful to see them, but I really don't KNOW them anymore.

Maybe i'm feeling a little introspective today.

Awake & Dreaming

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.
- Thomas Edward Lawrence (of Arabia)

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a writer. And, not just a writer who pens works in the quiet places of life and lets them gather dust. I have wanted to be published, to make a difference, and to make an impact.

What I am realizing, though, is that I am doing little to make those dreams a reality in my life. Do I set aside enough time to write? No. Have I made it a priority lately? No. Is the passion still there? Yes. Do I know I have a story to tell? Yes. Then why am I not doing anything about it? I don't know.

A friend once recently told me that she knew the talent was there, i just needed to be more deliberate about making the TIME in the middle of my crazy life to actually sit down and write, even if it's only for five minutes a day. As easy as it would be to just pass that off and forget about it, she's right. It has to start somewhere. And, it starts tonight!

I just found a writing contest that is due July 16 that I am going to enter. It's a children's book and it's exciting and I'm excited. I'll let you know how it goes!

Prayer

Sometimes I'm hesitant to post on this blog, knowing that some people who read it are very close to the 'issues' that I want to write about. That being said, I would ask all of you that pray to pray for my church. In many cases, pray for our church (because many of you are involved here). Being in the position that I am in, I know 'things' that many people who aren't directly involved in the business side of church don't pay attention to or worry about, but I do. And, i'm asking that you pray for this church, this place i still love and believe in, but am worried about on so many levels...

...just pray!

First Cars

This was my first car.
It was white.
1982 Renault Eagle (I think).
It ran...most of the time.
I once had to find my muffler.
The seatbelt tried to keep Rene locked in.







This is Cameron's first car.
It probably doesn't look this nice.
It doesn't run...but they have the parts.
1979 Triumph Spitfire.
Being second born isn't always a bad thing.