Life's A Beach

This is Myrtle Beach from my hotel room. Don't let the over-cast look fool you...it was very early in the morning and soon the sun was out in full-force doing frying us all like eggs. The umbrellas and chairs are nice and can be yours for $25 for the day. You can rent one for the week, as well. We went ahead and rented the umbrella/chair combo when we spent the whole day on the beach. Believe me, by about 11:00 a.m. having a little shade was a very VERY good thing. The lifeguard at our station was funny. He was there before 7:00 am every morning to put out the chairs and umbrellas and then proceeded to take them all down again around 4:00 pm. I guess that's part of the job and he got a great workout everyday, but still...that's a lot of work. Anyway, hanging out at the beach was wonderful. It's amazing to me how much time we spent doing just nothing all day.

Playing in the waves, because you can't really swim in the ocean, and watching people. We spent literally HOURS outside and I loved it. Because I was under orders to not burn on this vacation, I applied the sunscreen every 90 minutes or so. Well, the first time I applied sunscreen...the second time it was some sort of sunscreen/sand combination that was both painful and exfoliating at the same time. :) Our hotel was right on the beach, which was nice. The hotel itself was kinda gross, though. If you're planning a trip to Myrtle Beach, I would not recommend the Days Inn on the Southside of the beach (Myrtle Beach, not North Myrtle Beach). It was relatively cheap, but also kind of dirty and hot and poorly designed...who puts the air conditioner unit on the floor so it blows hot air out onto the CONCRETE enclosed balcony anyway? :) Ah well, it was still nice.




This is Cameron at 14 looking all smug about life. It kind of makes me laugh, because he's such a calm and quiet person all the time, and this picture shows so much more attitude than he normally has...although he's turning into a very good teenager - too cool to hang out with the family and goodness forbid he really ENJOY spending time getting beat to death by waves in the ocean...but whatever. I love him and we're a lot closer than most siblings with a 12 year age difference, I'm sure. It's strange to think about him growing up and getting older and that he'll be graduating from high school in four years. Ah well. I know there won't be many more 'family' vacations that are just the four of us (for several different reasons) so I'll just enjoy them while they are available.





Ah, the Aquarium. Anyone who knows me knows I love sealife and fish. I have a new favorite marine animal, though, and that is the stingray. At this aquarium, you can actually PET them. It was really cool. Despite the myths and assumptions, they are actually very docile animals and love to show off for the crowd. They would come out of the water and flap up on the sides and everything. They were so much fun! I'm in love! :) The other two big things at the aquarium are the moving walkway that takes you through 180 degree aquariums where the fish swim over and around you - as do sharks and sea turtles and other creatures- and the Titanic exhibit that gives a timeline, information, and all sorts of material about the million little things that went wrong to doom that voyage. They had a bowl of the 28 degree water that the people on the ship were plunged into...after just a few seconds, my fingers hurt. At least for most of them, death came quickly. The aquarium was nice and fun, but I think my favorite aquarium is the one at Newport. Fish, puffins, and penguins - what more could a girl want?




Probably the highlight of the trip was going to Medieval Times. This is something I've wanted to do for a really long time and to finally get the chance to do it was great. It's a little expensive, but totally worth the money for dinner AND a show. It's fun and exciting and everyone who goes can't help but get into the act. We had a really good time and had really good seats. Our Knight was the Black and White Knight, and he rocked! Seriously, if you're looking for a fun evening and want to do something a little different, find one of these shows!!!

We also spent a day at the water park, but all in all, it was just nice to get away and not have to think about work and other stuff and just enjoy spending time with my family. It's hard to be back, but that's to be expected with vacations, right?

Dancing on the Walls

Vacation was great. I promise to write more about it soon. However, there is something else I want to talk about right now. I spent a good portion of my day yesterday thinking about, talking to, and hanging out with the Steiner family. I have known Paul and Abigail since moving to college in August of 1997. Together they have impacted my life in so many ways, it's hard to put into words. They have guided me through some dark and scary and unsure times in my life and always been there for me through triumphs and tears.

They're planning on becoming full-time missionaries to Ireland. I am excited for them because this has been a dream for a long time. However, it looks like they could be leaving a lot sooner than anyone expected - as in the beginning of September. Paul has an interview on August 11 for a job as a Chaplain at the University of Dublin. It would be a serious answer to prayer for them to get this job and not have to raise quite as much money to go over there. However, if he gets the job, it starts at the beginning of September. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm praying hard that they do, but saying goodbye is going to be harder than I ever thought. I was babysitting their two children, Kadison & Kenyon, when it hit me. I love those kids and they're comfortable around me. We have a great time together and in the very near future, I won't get to see them as much and watch them as much.

And then Paul & Abigail got home last night and said they were talking on the way back from Indianapolis about things they'll miss. Paul said it made him sad that he won't be around to see me get engaged, much less married. I hadn't really thought about that until then. I used to think that Paul would be the one to do the ceremony and now knowing he won't even get to see it happen makes me sad. They have been so much a part of big moments in my life, I guess I had just always assumed they would be around for that one, as well. I know it's just a little thing in the whole scheme of what they're going to be doing in Ireland, but it just made my heart hurt last night.

I don't want to have to say goodbye to them, even though I know they are doing exactly what God would have them do. And, for that, I can rejoice. I can be glad and excited to see what the future holds and the impact they're going to make in the world. The reality is, however, that they're planning on moving, and they're not really planning on moving back to the states. During his last trip, Paul made a DVD to give to churches that are considering supporting their mission. The song that he chose to play at the beginning is beautiful and haunting. If I could figure out how to post it here, I would. It's Celtic, by a group called IONA. The song is "Dancing on the Walls" and the first stanza is this:

It started with a dream I could see it all
I had a vision and I heard You call me
Now the dream is over but the voice remains
I am part of something that is going to change things
For the better
Going to change things for the better

And I hear You call
And I see You dancing
Dancing on the wall

The whole song is like this and could not be a better fit. It is with love and joy and sadness that I look toward the next 6 weeks.

Vacation - WooHoo!

This will be my last post for several days as I am leaving tomorrow to head to Myrtle Beach. I may actually be able to post tomorrow since I know my aunt and uncle in Kentucky have internet access. After that, your guess is as good as mine!

I am looking forward to vacation because I know it'll be good and I deserve the break. Vacations always make me a little nervous, though, because I am away from home and my comfort zone. I will be with my momma, so that's a good thing, but I will still be away from my life here in Bloomington. I will miss Tim and I will miss my fish and my friends, that's for sure.

Another person I'll miss? My liz! She's been on vacation this week and I'll be on vacation next week, so I only had the chance to talk to her for a few moments yesterday before she lost the signal. We talk or email every day, so going this long without getting to really catch up is really strange. I never realized all the strange little things I want to tell her about that I haven't been able to share this week. She's awesome, she's one of my favorite people in the whole world and one of my very best friends. Hopefully she's enjoying her Harry Potter book, being back in the 'real world,' and catching up with everyone else. I can't wait to talk to her when I get back, now! (although I will probably have better phone access since I'll be in a bigger city instead of up in the mountains!).

Not a lot else. I hope everyone who reads this (all four of you!) have a fabulous week. Jenny got me in the mood yesterday and I'm just enjoying it being friday, my "to do" list being completely done, and the fact that I can head home.

See you all soon!

Changes

A picture postcard
A folded stub
A program of the play
File away your photographs
Of your holiday

And your mementos
Will turn to dust
But that's the price you pay
For every year's a souvenir
That slowly fades away

Every year's a souvenir
That slowly fades away
-Billy Joel

This has been a summer of so many changes around my workplace that it almost doesn't seem real. Some of them have been big, some of them have been small, but they've all been changes, nonetheless. Two ministers are gone, a different ministerial position has been filled, one secretary has changed, the business manager is different...Just a lot of little things. Audrey left today, and I'll miss her a lot, but I'm looking forward to things settling into some sense of normal again, if that makes sense.

I leave in just a few days for a week at Myrtle Beach with my family. Say a little prayer that it doesn't rain the whole time we're there. I'd love some sunshine and the chance to just sit and watch the waves crash against the seashore. Emily, the tropical storm, is building, so hopefully she doesn't come toward vacation! I'm ready to be away from everything for awhile - rest, relax, and hopefully not spend so much time...thinking...about everything. We'll see, though. 13 hours in a car both ways and not being able to read in a car anymore leaves little else to do, I guess. Hopefully I can take a couple drugs and be able to read a little. Other than that, it'll be sleeping and listening to music. For the first time, I wouldn't really mind having an I-Pod. It would be nice to not have to keep changing CD's all the time. Oh well, I don't need it, so I'll be fine.

What is left of hurricane Dennis has been dumping rain on Indiana. It isn't pouring down, but it's been dreary for about three days, and it's starting to just make me tired and depressed and tired and tired and...cranky and emotional. Good, good.

Well, as long as he's honest about it.... 

Abstain from Fornication

I hate cheesy church signs. I always said that if you HAVE to put something on the sign, use scripture. Scripture is always going to be a better option than something asinine out of a little quote book. And then Tim and I saw the title of this blog, with the scriptural reference, on a church sign on 2nd street. First, it just cracked me up. I know that abstinence isn't probably preached as much as it should be, especially in an ultra-liberal place like Bloomington, but I definitely think that "abstain from fornication" on a church sign is probably not going to send the right message or do anything other than reinforce ridiculous stereotypes about the Church global. GRRRR cheesy church signs.

In other news, it was the fourth of July weekend, which means an extra day off from work. I like having the day off, but had zero motivation to get up and get going this morning. What I really wanted to do was sleep in forever. We went to the Bloomington Fireworks last night. I love fireworks. I love the lights and watching them light up the sky. It makes me feel like a little kid again. Watching them with Tim was great, but nothing compares to watching fireworks with my mom. We'll "ooohhh" and "aaaahhh" like we're children again, just for the fun of it. There is something about small-town Indiana fireworks shows that are different than bigger city shows, too. First of all, everyone knows you. You put your blanket down, but then you wander from person to person saying hello and laughing at little kids running around with sparklers. It's just different. But, last night was really fun and something I love.

I leave for Myrtle Beach in just a couple weeks. While I'm not excited about leaving Tim here, I am excited to get away from work and "stuff" and just hang out at the beach for awhile. The only thing I'm really NOT looking forward to is the 13+ hour drive there and back and trying to figure out where I'm going to park my car while I'm gone. At least the new Harry Potter will be out by then. YAY!

Unimportant

There's a certain kind of pain that can numb you
There's a type of freedom that can tie you down
Sometimes the unexplained can define you
And sometimes the silence is the only sound
"Hanging by a Thread" -Nickel Creek

Do you ever feel like you could walk away from all or a part of your life and no one would even notice you're gone? That's how i'm starting to feel. Not about my personal life - my family and friends would notice if I just disappeared off the face of the earth, but in other ways, I really don't think it would matter. Especially at work. I honestly feel like I could walk away tomorrow and, other than the inconvenience of no one being here to count the money early next week, no one would care at all. In the time it would take to train someone to be my replacement, I would be forgotten and life would go on. What I do doesn't really make a difference anyway - I count the money and put the stuff other people write in the bulletin and the Oak Leaf. I guess it's not as 'important' as I once thought it was.

I knew when I began this portion of my job about a year ago that it would be hard. I knew I would feel like I really didn't have a place that I fit and that I really didn't have a role to play anymore. I knew from the first time everyone went to lunch for admin. assistant's day and I stayed here that this job meant I didn't really belong with anyone or to anyone anymore. And I knew it would be hard. But, the longer I'm here, the harder it is for me to do it. I found a small role to play for awhile, but that's not mine to play. My former coworker said a comment to me one time about how she was 'more than a secretary.' At the time it really bothered me because I was a secretary and so was she. I thought that was her job. But, looking at the way things are working now, I guess maybe it was more that she was just supposed to be a secretary, but that wasn't the job. Maybe that's why she never felt like she fit, either...she made me crazy, that's for sure. But, right now, feeling like I do, I understand a little more of her fears and frustrations and insecurities.

I've taken her place.

Five Books That Mean Something

Katie had this on her blog as part of a survey. I really liked this one question, so here they are--five books that mean something to me!

"The Giver" by Lois Lowry.
This book is one of those books that I didn't read until college (thanks Liz, for introducing it to me) but I really believe everyone should read once in their life. It's a Newberry Award Winner and a simply amazing book. Somehow Lowry manages to combine deep fears and amazing beauty all at the same time. Sure, a lot of school children will 'have' to read it this year, but it's totally worth reading as an adult.

"Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister" by Gregory Maguire.
Maguire's unique and ambitious discussion of the true nature of beauty had me captivated on a beach in Costa Rica. More than just the eye of the beholder, Maguire demonstrates how beauty is formed first on the inside of a person. Magical, powerful, and lyrical, "Confessions" is an honest look at just how wrapped up our culture is with beauty and just how senseless that obsession is.

"Fahrenheit 451" by Ray Bradbury.
Anyone who loves literature and is passionate about the written word should read this book at least once. Bradbury's created world - where books are made for burning - has always reminded me of the downward spiral our society has taken. Literature is not read. Fewer and fewer people actually take the time to read a book. TV has replaced imagination. But what happens when one man learns that a world unlike any he has ever experienced is right there waiting for him? Beautifully written and scary at the same time!

"The Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning.
Looking for authentic faith from a person who's been to the bottom and back? "The ragamuffin gospel" is one part story, one part faith lesson, and one hundred percent true to life. Manning doesn't attempt to explain the mystery of God; he just encourages his reader to embrace it. This book changed my faith and moved me from my juvenile legalistic view of Christ and Christians into a true relationship with both.

"Don Quixote" by Miguel de Cervantes.
One man. One quest. One dream. Don Quixote, the unlikely hero of this story, is a well-intentioned but somewhat crazy man who dares to believe the world is full of mystery still. This book made me laugh, cry, and be angry all at once. One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from this story (see it under the picture on the right). What harm is there in dreaming when the dream is more beautiful than the reality?