Sometimes something happens and you don't know how to put into words the experience. Sometimes it's good...and sometimes it's bad. this time, it was of the bad variety.

On wednesday evening, Tim and I were going to KFC for dinner. We were stopped at a stoplight, sitting behind the stop-line and minding our own business. Suddenly there is an accident in the intersection in front of us. A 2000 Chevy Tracker tries to turn left in front of an 83 cadillac. The cadillac hits the Tracker and sends it spinning...right into tim and I. Yeah, instead of it just colliding with Tim's Grand Prix and bouncing away, the tracker somehow gets airborne enough to end up on the top of Tim's hood and goes crashing into his windshield. Crack. Crack. Crack. Here comes a tracker through the windshield. Then it stopped it's momentum and fell on it's side. I'll be honest with you, dear reader...I was terrified to look over at Tim, the man I love. I was afraid of what I would see. I was afraid he would be there, bloody and unconscious. Instead, he looked over at me wild eyed and made sure I was okay. We crawled out the door and made sure everyone was okay. Amazingly, there were no real injuries. Tim had a couple scratches on his hands from the glass everywhere, but other than that, everyone seemed fine.

It's a strange thing to be in an accident and not know at all what happened or really what to do next. We were just sitting there. IF there was ever a person not responsible for an accident, it would be Tim in this accident. So right now we're playing the waiting game. His car is either at the tow place (Extreme towing in bloomington) or at Wilson's body shop. Either way, we're not sure yet whether or not it's going to be totaled out. I hope not. I know Tim hopes not. He loves his car, and he treats it great, so he didn't 'deserve' this to happen to him. And if he somehow ends up having to pay for another car or do something of the sort, even though he did NOTHING wrong, it will be really hard to swallow. You know?

Not a lot else. It's been a rough week for Tim. And, because I love him, it has been a rough week for me.

Tim and I just a week after we started dating. Now everyone knows what we look like :) WEE :) 

For some reason I haven't been able to complete a Blog for the last several days, but i got this off of tyana's website and i thought it was fun

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?

I am...

You're an Etch-a-Sketch!! You're the creative,
artsy type who doesn't need to actually utilize
a single muscle group in order to have fun.
Doesn't matter though, you're still cool.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

HE GOT THE JOB!!
HE GOT THE JOB!! HE GOT THE JOB!! Okay, for those of you who don't know what the heck i'm talking about, i'll elaborate. Tim, my boyfriend, and I met while we were both working at the church. He has been the media intern. In the last ten months since we started dating, there has always been this thing hanging over us...what happens in June/July when his internship is up and he has to leave...and now we know. About 3 months ago Jason (his boss) approached him about staying on staff here. However, they have already hired one person in the media ministry in the last year, so he said to not get his hopes up...

...but last night, after jumping through all the hoops and saying A LOT of prayer, the elders said Yes. Tim is staying. He's permanent. And it's like this huge relief for us. I don't know how else to describe it. It's AMAZING. I am so happy. He is so happy. And, more importantly...

GOD IS SO GOOD!

The Typewriter
There is a typewriter in my office. Yes, a real one. It works and everything. Actually, it's one of the later models of typewriters--electric. (but not the kind with the screen where you could type like four lines of text before it actually went to the paper) Sometimes I have to use it and recently I have really enjoyed it. I have become familiar with the sound of the keyboard on my computer and even more familiar with the sound of my laptop at home. And then, I turn on the typewriter, slip in a piece of paper, and I'm...writing. The click of the keys, the need for correction tape, watching all the mistakes I make when I type pile up...it's almost magical! I don't know what it is about the keys, the sound, the DING at the end of a line. More thought goes in to what I type there. I'm slower and more deliberate, because making a mistake takes so much longer to correct. In fact, I'm not even sure we have the means to correct any mistakes made on that machine here. At least, none that I have come across during the great office move. Because it is harder, you have to take your time and really enjoy the moment. And even though the things I use it for (making offering envelopes, labels, the random form) are not that exciting, I get excited to use it. I LIKE IT, OKAY! :) I am a dork, and I am okay with that. If the typewriter in the corner of my office can inspire me, then so be it. I am inspired.

The Diet
In a word, The Diet sucks. I hate it. I've jumped on the band wagon and am trying to do the South Beach Diet. The first two weeks are supposed to be the hardest--no carbs (no bread, no pasta, no fruit, no sweets) and it's rough. I am, quite frankly, going crazy. I would pretty much kill for an apple right now. Or some pasta or a piece of pizza...or whatever the heck I can find...I started a week ago. Or, more exactly, a week and 2 days. And I am ready to be done with this part of it. I hate it. I'm so hungry. I've been so hungry for a week. I thought I could do it. I think I can do it, but my will power is quickly fading. Even more quickly than I thought.

I just feel bad. Like sick, bad, if that makes sense. I know that a diet changes what you eat and i know it takes awhile for your body to acclimate to that, but still. I don't think a person should feel this sick to their stomach and this out of sorts, all because of a diet. However, as someone who has struggled with her weight her whole life, I'm willing to try anything at least once, I guess. I did weight watchers for quite awhile. Did really well the first time, but then lost my motivation. I guess I want to be thin, but I also want to be happy. And, sometimes I wonder if losing the weight will make me happy or give me an eating disorder...or another eating disorder. :) I think there are disorders other than anorexia and bulemia. I am obsessed with food. I don't think I've had a meal in a year and a half where I haven't felt guilty for something I ate. And, THAT can't be healthy, can it?

If you've ever felt like you're not loved enough or you think God has forgotten you, this song is a great reminder of the truth...

"More" by Matthew West

"Take a look at the mountain
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of Me

Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am

And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to Me

And I want you to know
That I'm not letting go
Even when you come undone

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Shine for Me
Shine for Me
Shine on, shine on
Shine for Me

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more"

Many Random Thoughts...

I haven't blogged in awhile, although I have been meaning to do so; time has just been not on my side, I guess. So here are a bunch of random thoughts in no particular order :) Enjoy

Random Thought #1
I miss talking to Liz already. We both worked at jobs where we could be in contact during the day...maybe one of the benefits of email. Well, she got a new job, and she just started yesterday, and I'm not sure that I'll hear from her as often. I didn't really realize until Tuesday how much I enjoy getting her "good morning :)" emails. It's just nice to know that someone is thinking about you first thing in the morning-at least someone that you don't see every day. So Liz, I know you'll read this eventually and I just want to say thanks for always making my mornings a little brighter. I am so excited about your new job!! You're going to do great.

Random Thought #2
Cicadas. Yuck. I hate bugs, I'll be honest. I know they're an important part of the circle of life and that everything plays an important role...BLAH BLAH BLAH. I don't care how important they are, a million bugs an acre is about a million too many. According to the Indianapolis Star, they have begun appearing in Southern Indiana already and should be in the Central part of the state by this weekend. Let me say again....YUCK :) Not looking forward to it at all...but I guess the sooner they get here, the sooner they can just GO AWAY, right :)

Random Thought #3
American Idol. Up to this point, I have not allowed the pop culture, closet interest in American Idol out. But honestly, they (and I mean they because I didn't vote...so maybe I don't really care THAT much) voted off my favorite person last night. Interesting. If I wanted to try really hard, I could liken the voting on American Idol to so many things; the idle (no pun intended) way we look at our lives, etc...but let's be honest here. It is a TV show and I think finding the deeper meaning would only make me sound a little more like a freak than I already am...but if you want to know, that's cool. Leave me a comment and I'll elaborate more :)

Random Thought #4
If I actually sat down and wrote as much as I think about how much I'd like to be a professional writer, I'd be there already. Why do we sit on our dreams instead of acting on them?

Random thought #5
It's really annoying when you find the PERFECT font for your blog, but no one else can appreciate it because they don't have it. Go here to download the "CARE BEAR FAMILY" font. Then you can see the page the way I do! YAY!

Another Monday Morning...

I'm sitting at my desk eating some Strawberry Burst Cheerios and pondering the weekend. I went home. It was wonderful. My little brother received his Black Belt in Karate, not a poor achievement for a 13 year old! So, Friday night we went home. I took Tim with me. I was a little nervous--that whole actually spending TIME with my family thing--but, not surprisingly, it was a wonderful weekend. He fit right in with parents and Cameron. It was nothing amazing; a little thing, in fact, but it meant the world to me that he was there. And once again, I feel even MORE affirmed that I am one lucky girl in one great relationship. If you know Tim at all, you know just how special he is and just how special he makes me feel. This weekend was just one great expression of that after another. I think the more amazing thing is just how well we know each other and how well we compliment each other in the little things. We can laugh and be silly, but we can also have some really powerful and meaningful talks. We can just sit in silence, or we can sing along to the radio.

And, after 9 months, I'm learning that there are many more ways to say "I love you" and "you are important to me" than just with words. They are things said in tender touches, in big bear hugs, in the wiping away of random tears. They are said with soft kisses on moist cheeks and with the willingness to deal with your allergies just because it's important to your girlfriend that you go home with her. It's in laughter. It's in the way you rest your hand on my back and the way you cuddle close to me. It's the sparkle in your eyes when you see me and the way you say hello. It's the security I feel when I think of our relationship. It's the way you've banished the insecure version of me. It's the way I look at you and just KNOW that everything is going to be fine. It's knowing that you care. It's simply being near you.

As I was saying, it was a great weekend. I love my family, I love being with my family, and I love that Tim got to go home with me to be around them, as well!