The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's almost Christmas and has taken me the better part of the month to really get into the Christmas spirit, but now it is here and I am ready and rarin' to go. Yesterday will go down in history as one of my favorite days ever. Can I tell you exactly how in love I am with a boy named Tim? Can I tell you how his gift of perhaps the most beautiful necklace I have ever seen made my heart jump and made me feel like the most beautiful and special girl in the universe yesterday? Can I tell you how much fun I had hanging out with him, even though the Colts lost the game and it was really late last night when we got home? Can I tell you how his heart forever changed mine? Can I tell you how happy I am? Are there even words to make sense of the overflow of emotion in my heart?

So here is my promise to everyone seeking love--it will happen. I am proof. I never thought it would and the Christmas season especially reminded me of my lonliness and singleness, but here I am. I get to spend this beautiful season with a man I am becoming more and more convinced everyday was meant for me. :) So, if you are searching, be patient my loving friends. God's best is so much better than anything you could dream up for yourself (even marry a famous Christian singer :) ).

So Merry Christmas to all...may your days be wonderful and bright, and may you find the love that you thought was just a dream. May the beauty of the season shine on the people you love.

gracious
marked by kindness and courtesy, marked by tact and delicacy, characterized by charm, good taste, generosity of spirit

I do not understand why people seem to lack a gracious heart. Sure, we all have our moments where we are not kind and courteous, moments where our spirits are angry and frustrated and we seem to see only the bad things in life, but in our hearts, we are still gracious. However, I believe there are some people that are only able to find their worth and their happiness by making the rest of the world seem inferior to their own 'perfection.' These people hurt me, make me angry, and make me want to tell them just how frustrated I get with their better than everything attitude. However, I know that it would do no good and I would become just another complaint for them to voice loudly to the entire world.

The louder it gets, the more I long for silence. I long for quiet moments when the only thing I need to do is watch the snow fall and curl up under a blanket with a cup of hot cocoa. Instead there is noise everywhere. Loud people talking down the hall, the phones ringing, the sound of a woman talking to herself constantly...the sound of the humidifier and the copy machine and so much noise everywhere...

There is a part of me that just wants to scream, because I know the scream would drown out the rest of the noise. And when I stopped screaming, for a moment, I would hear only silence. But it would only take a moment and then the noise would return, and my complaint would be lost in the hum-drum of the everyday.

Yes, it's cold outside. Yes at least three people in my office are fighting the flu. Yes I would rather be in my house sound asleep right now than watching to phones for the receptionist. As it is, though, there is nothing I can do about any of the above. I can down the vitamin C and wear extra clothes, and try to get to bed at a reasonable time. That's about it. And those are the things I am doing.

Not a lot has happened since Monday at 8:41 a.m. Tomorrow I am taking my car in because apparently there's an open recall on it-which means there is a 99% chance that the recall is why my lights are blinking like they are. Whiche also means that it gets repaired for free. YAY! :) That's a Merry Christmas present if there ever was one.

Since there is really nothing to do while watching the phones, I think I will play computer games now. Good times!

No Mistake About It

Winter has come to Southern Indiana. The "light dusting to an inch" we were supposed to get Saturday turned into a solid 3+ by Sunday morning. It's beautiful, I don't doubt that a bit...however, it's also cold and make the roads less that fun to drive on, which in turn makes me nervous and cranky.

I'm not really sure why or when my fear of snow kicked in full force. I think it was after not driving in it for awhile; I simply just stopped trusting myself as much as I should, which is just silly. I've only ever been driving in one accident, and that was not so much preventable. When you're driving a glorified box of tin, crest a hill and see a deer on the road, what are you supposed to do? So yeah, I made a pledge to myself this year to get over my fear of driving in the snow...and did...until it snowed. :) I didn't drive in it this weekend, not so much because I was 'scared' to but because I just didn't have the need. I was with Tim when it started, he took me home, and then we both had to be at the church at 6:45 a.m. on Sunday, so he just came and picked me up. That was when the roads were the worst, that's for sure. By the time we left church, the roads weren't nearly as bad, but then this morning...okay, so the roads were fine. My apartment complex, however, was a sheet of ice. a SCARY sheet of ice, to be exact. :)

AH well, what can you do?

In other news, my friend Annie is moving to Cape Cod one week from today. I cannot begin to tell you how sad this makes me. She is an amazing girl and one of my dearest friends and I am going to miss her terribly. Last night we got to spend some time together, which was really nice. I know we're going to be friends for a long time, but the idea that she's not going to be just down the road from me. I hoe she knows what she means to me and I hope she knows just how important her friendship is to me...she is one of a kind and I am blessed and honored to have her in my life. Here's to you, Annie :) Anytime you want to play Ptarmigan Ping Pong, I'm there!

I think winter has finally come to Indiana. Too bad it's not really winter yet. That isn't until what, December 21st or something like that? But it is C-O-L-D outside today. REALLY cold. my feet are still frozen and I've been inside for quite awhile now. Oh well, it's fine. It's winter. I've lived here my whole life, you think I would just be resigned to it, right? Right, but I'm not. Every year I actually get a little more bitter and a little more dedicated to leaving it all behind. Somehow I doubt I ever will, though. My family is here, my friends are here, and the other three seasons are things I simply couldn't live without, so this one is just part of the deal, I guess.

I haven't mentioned anything about the adult Christmas musical that we had here at SOCC last weekend...and there's a reason for that. I really don't know how to describe it. I've seen a lot of 'church' presentations in my day, and I've seen a lot of musicals...but this one, wow. It was so simple, so profound, and so moving. It was called "Who Is This King of Glory?" There is a song by the group Third Day of almost the same title. The first verse and Chorus are below:

Who is this King of Glory that persues me with his love
And haunts me with each hearing of His softly spoken words
My conscience, a reminder of forgiveness that I need
Who is this King of Glory who offers it to me

His name is Jesus, precious Jesus
The Lord Almighty, the King of my heart
The King of glory

It was the story of a little girl and her grandfather and the true meaning of Christmas. The musical was beautiful, hopeful, and holy. There were goosebumps all over my body the whole way through it...and the real message--that two huge moments, the birth of Jesus in a manger and the death of Jesus on the cross were the bookends of the single greatest act of love in the history of history. The finale of the show was a song called "Midnight Cry." I cannot begin to explain in words how well it was done and how amazing the man who sang it was. His name is Tim Birt and he's a vocal music major at IU. I think he's getting his master's at this point. That's not what is so amazing, though. What is amazing is that he is simply amazingly talented...and completely humble. When the sanctuary erupted in applause at the end, he simply walked off stage. Later we were talking and he said "my only hope and prayer was that they were cheering about the message, about the story, and about how amazing God is. That is the only thing that matters." It was amazing. I only wish I could somehow put the WAV file of the song on my blog so you could understand just how amazing it was. Here are the lyrics to the song:

I hear the sound of a mighty rushing wind
And it’s closer now than it’s ever been
I can almost hear the trumpet
As Gabriel sounds the call
At the midnight cry we’ll be going home

When Jesus steps out of the clouds to call His children
The dead in Christ shall rise and meet Him in the air
Then those that remain, will be quickly changed
At the midnight cry, when Jesus comes again

I look around me I see prophecies fulfilled everyday
And signs of the times they're appearing everywhere
I can almost hear the Father as He says, "Son, go get my children"
At the midnight cry the dead in Christ shall rise

When Jesus steps out of the clouds to call His children
The dead in Christ shall rise and meet Him in the air
Then those that remain, will be quickly changed
At the midnight cry, when Jesus comes again

Then those that remain, will be quickly changed
At the midnight cry, when Jesus comes again
At the midnight cry, when Jesus comes again
When Jesus comes again

Amen!

Last night I did something I haven't done in a very long time. I went to sleep at 11:00 and slept until 6:10 this morning-without waking up. That NEVER happens to me.

After a long day yesterday, I was able to relax and just be quiet and still for awhile, which made it so much easier to go to sleep. There is something about being in the arms of one you love, just talking, laughing, and joking about nothing and everything that makes life seem so much more complete. I lost sight of something for a couple moments yesterday, and I think that's why I was so sad. This quote sums it up:

The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life. --Robert Louis Stevenson

It's so true, though. The best things in life are the nearest, the closest to you-family, friends, the ones you love, the ones you cherish, the ones who cherish you. My outlook this morning is much better; mostly because I have found a great peace in a simple fact. God is real. He is love. And, most importantly, He is here. Right now. In this place and in this little heart.

Even the cold blustery weather cannot change the fact that love is real and that warms my heart.

I changed the title of my blog. It's one of my favorite quotes from a song in "Sleeping Beauty" and so true. Our dreams are our wishes, they are both from God.

I love you all.

Today the dark weather outside is clouding my mood. Why? I don't know. It's like the littlest things are making me cry; the littlest things are making me angry and sad and frustrated and hurt and all of that at once. i don' tknow how to make sense of all of that and how to actually make myself happy. There is not a lot in my life for me to be unhappy about; not a lot for me to be sad or disappointed about.

I just got a promotion, I'm in love, I have a great family, great friends, and a great church. I know God is there and that He is loving on me. I know that I am unbelievably lucky, but yet, today...the tears just won't stop falling. I just don't get it.

Life is a strange thing.

Books You Must Read

Here's my reading list from Costa Rica

The Five People You Meet In Heaven
It's by Mitch Albom, who wrote Tuesdays with Morrie, which is one of my favorite books. This isn't a religious book at all, but instead about a man who dies and the five people he meets in heaven. Turns out in this version of the afterlife, everyone has five people they meet in heaven that share how their lives and the life of the person that died intersected. It's a great study on how we touch lives and brings home the realization that we never really realize who we are going to touch and how we are going to affect the life of another person. It will make you think about your friends...and about the people you've never met who, through random circumstances, are different because of your life.

The Tale of Despereaux
It's a children's book, but a great one. It's about a little mouse with huge ears who makes a huge mistake--he actually talks to and falls in love with the princess who lives in his castle! For this he is banished to the dungeon, where the rats live, to be put to death. The story of a mouse, a rat, a princess, a spool of thread, and a homely girl with dreams of being something more all combined together. It's a quick read, but hilarious. It often reminded me of The Neverending Story since the writer often addresses the reader directly and encourages them to keep thinking.

Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister
I cannot begin to tell you how much I adored this book. I literally devoured it. I had heard about it for quite awhile, but hadn't gotten around to reading it. It was at the beach house, though, so I picked it up. It's the Cinderella story...kind of. It's the story of a 'perfect' little girl named Clara who is kept in the house all the time and of two sisters and their mother who had to escape England for Holland after their father is killed. The two girls would be the 'ugly stepsisters' in a traditional telling of the Cinderella story. I was, quite frankly, amazed at this book. The central theme is beauty--what is beauty, what is love, what is compassion? What is real and what is just an illusion? It is AMAZING. Stop reading this now. Go to the bookstore or Library and pick it up. Devour it. Then let me know what you think. I can't wait to read more from the author, Gregory Maguire!

Bienvenidos a Costa Rica!

That is what the large mural on the other side of the customs and immigration office said in the airport last week. We were finally in Costa Rica. I've been waiting for this trip to occur for a long time, so finally being there was amazing. The night before I had been a little sad. Saying goodbye to Tim and knowing that I wouldn't get to see or talk to him on a daily basis for a week was a strange thing...at the same time, though, a wonderful adventure was awaiting me. So here we were--my mom, grandmother, stepdad, little brother and I--all waiting in line to get stamps in our passports and venture into a country we had read and heard a lot about, but still did not know a lot...

The first night we stayed at a bed and breakfast called the Posada Mimosa. It was right outside of San Jose and beautiful. The people that owned the B&B had moved there from Canada and were enjoying their retirement. There was a pool that overlooked the valley, cabins, flowers, dogs, a gated entry. it was great. We went to a little town called Grecia for dinner and ate arroz con pollo (chicken with rice) for dinner. It was very good. The way home, however, was a little tense. It's pretty easy to get lost on the roads in Costa Rica. They're not really labeled, there are no signs for towns, etc. We thought we were heading the right direction, but soon it became very apparent that we were lost. In the dark. On the side of a mountain. In Costa Rica. My mom finally made my uncle stop (he and my aunt had rented a 15 passenger diesel van for the trip) and she went into a little Soda (drink and snack shop) to ask directions. We saw the gestures the lady, who didn't speak any english was making. yeah, we were lost. :) When mom got back into the car and got us turned around, we finally found our way home...then we could laugh. Mom had asked the girl in the Soda where we were on the little hand-drawn map we had. Her response? No. Not on the map. :) But, we made it back. :)

Monday morning we got up and had breakfast...and then Cameron and I went swimming at 8 in the morning. The sun was already hot and the water felt great. Then it was back in the car to head to our final destination--Tamarindo Beach, Costa Rica.

5 hours later, we were there. We found the house we had rented, Casa Rosa, and made ourselves comfortable. Out the back door was the beach--sun, sand, and ocean water. At night, the tide is almost in your backyard. During the a.m. hours, it's up to 200 yards farther out to sea...very cool. Cameron and I got up the next morning and went exploring on the exposed beach...we found a baby octupus, more crabs (big ones!) than you can imagine, and all sorts of sea life. this is where you go if you want to find whole, beautiful shells (instead of the broken 1/2 ones you find in places like Florida!). The best part, though, was that you would pick up the shells and there would still be a crab, snail, or something else living inside. It was REALLY neat. We spent the rest of the day walking to town (only 3/4 mile down the beach) and playing in the ocean. Cameron and I got out the boogie boards and had a great time. The sun would go down about 6:30 and we would be mostly in for the night. I was in bed a little after 8-830 every night. Howler monkeys lived in the trees outside of our house, so we got to see them, too!

The next day we took horses to the top of one of the mountains to look at Costa Rica. Yeah, let me tell you--I am not a big fan of horses...and because of that, they're not big fans of me. It is just the end of the rainy season in CR, which means the path we took to the top of the mountain was really wet and REALLY muddy in some spots. There was one spot that my horse simply didn't want to go through--so instead she tried to make her own path through the woods and ran me into a tree. i have bruises all up and down my left leg. Big ones. It hurt like crazy, but getting to the top and being able to see so much of the countryside was totally worth it! The way back down, my horse got spooked at the same exact place, but we survived and made it through :)

What else? Cameron and I learned to surf! I'll admit he's much better than I, but it was still a lot of fun!! The guy that taught us was the husband of the woman from who we were renting the house...very, very neat. Cameron had the surf board turning and all of that--I managed to not fall off. :) it's the little things, right?

It was a very relaxing trip. Lots of walks to town, playing in the ocean, and enjoying ourselves and family time.

Thanksgiving dinner, however, was another story. Now, you have to give the guy credit-Costa Rican people trying to make a traditional american dinner...but it was still questionable, at best....my favorite? The cranberry sauce was part of the gravy. And we can't forget the pumpkin Flan :) Bless their hearts, though...they tried :)

Friday was a day in the car, complete with a horrible headache (diesel fumes and having to drive a standard transmission up and down the mountains) and a car accident that had traffic backed up for quite awhile up the side of one of the many mountains. We made it to San Jose, stayed in the Courtyard Marriott and made it home on time on Saturday.

All in all it was an excellent trip. Good family time, relaxing. Unfortunately I had to come back to the cold indiana winter. YUCK:)